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Post by Soren Émile Tamesis on Apr 23, 2012 20:36:42 GMT -5
   i found a fox caught by dogsHE LET ME TAKE HIM IN MY HANDS- - - - - - - - - - - - - -[/size][/font][/center] Soren had been talking to this guy online for a while. Yes, this is exactly how ABC Family movies about stranger danger start, but it had honestly been nice to talk to someone who even came close to understanding him. They even went to the same school, but had been too shy to meet in person. When he thought about how often they must have passed each other in the hallway, he grimaced. The internet had a funny way of making these connections so ephemeral and yet so meaningful.
Micah had been going through a bad break-up, and there was only so much that commiseration via words on a screen was worth. Soren had wanted to go and talk to him in person, and after a bit of non-creeper cajoling, had managed to coax an address out of Micah. He wanted to be left alone, but he also wanted some companionship. Soren understood that perfectly. When his demons got too bad, all he wanted to do was be alone, but the presence of other people sometimes helped him calm them and scare them away. When he was alone it was easier to forget what he'd been taught over years of therapy, that they weren't real and never had been. Naturally, nobody here was to know that. He was trying to be normal. He really was. He didn't need to be 'the freak' here. His issue was unusual even in the institutions.
So in the late afternoon, Soren stepped out into the rain, flipping up the collar on his windbreaker to keep the worst of it off the back of his neck. He and Micah didn't actually live too far away from each other, and he could make the walk in fifteen minutes. Unlike most people, he liked the rain. His monsters always seemed to retreat in the rain, and he always found some odd sort of centered comfort in thunderstorms. Unfortunately, this was just the normal Seattle drizzle - and easy enough to navigate without an umbrella. He only remembered when he was halfway to Micah's house that showing up soaked and bedraggled was probably not the best way to make a first impression. Oh well. Too late now.
The rain got worse on the way over, but he really didn't mind. By the time he reached Micah's doorstep, he was soaked. He stood there at the door, his hand hesitating as sudden doubt and fear seized him. He had never been too good at in-person interaction, since his mental issues had given him a hefty case of the socially awkwards. But hell if he was going to abandon his friend. An online friend was still a friend.
He hit the doorbell and held his breath. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
his little heart it beat so fast
THAT I AM ASHAMED TO BE RUNNING AWAY
FROM NOTHING REAL [/font][/center][/color] tagged » tabby/micah words » 456 lyrics » hounds of love - the futureheads music » the riddle - gigi d'agostino notes » wheeeee  |
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Post by micah on Apr 23, 2012 21:43:57 GMT -5
Micah was curled up in his bed, crying. In his hand was a picture of his love, his Draven. He had just recently left him. It wasn’t just a typical leaving. He told Micah that he was a waste of his time and simply left. The boy didn’t know what to think of himself any more. He had pent up all of his hopes into their relationship that now that it was over, he felt lost and crumpled. The first day it happened he had carved into his arms and cut deeply. Now they were healing, but that didn’t change that his heart was still broken. It, unlike his arms, was not healing. It remained shattered. His body was becoming rigid with tension and his mind was clouded with sorrow. All he could think about, even on stage at the Barking Legs, was Draven and how he destroyed his heart. It made him an empty human being.
Micah forced himself out of bed to get ready for the guest that had said he was going to come over. Soren was his name and he had been coaching him through the heart ache and struggle. He moved from the covers, slipping on one of Draven’s large t shirts and a pair of short shorts. His dark eyes were smudged from eye liner and mascara that had been wept off over the night. His eyes were bloodshot as well. He walked out into the living room, his hair a mess, waiting on the arrival of his friend. Could you call him a friend? He’d only talked to him all of a few times online, but that’s all Micah could do these days.
There was a knock at the door, and Micah rose, messing with his hair. He walked out to the door, opening it. It shocked him to see how hard it was raining and to see poor Soren standing out there. He rushed over, wrapping a towel around him. “S-Sor-ren you, po-poor thing! Come in.”
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Post by Soren Émile Tamesis on Apr 23, 2012 22:18:05 GMT -5
i found a fox caught by dogsHE LET ME TAKE HIM IN MY HANDS- - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/size][/font][/center] Soren's heart pounded loudly in his ears as the seconds stretched by. Maybe he had the wrong address. Had he written it right? Maybe Micah had gotten cold feet and decided not to answer the door. Maybe--
But his fears were all unfounded when the door opened and he finally found himself looking at Micah. His original concern for his own appearance had been trivial - Micah was in a bad state, if that too-big t-shirt and short shorts combination was anything to go by. When Micah's expression immediately turned to concern, he realized just how much he must have looked like a drowned rat, and the color rose in his cheeks as Micah ran to get him a towel. He stepped into the foyer, trying not to drip too much on everything. "Ah! Sorry, Micah, I didn't think the rain would get this bad," he said, trying to make himself as small as possible. His French accent had mostly been covered up by his extended stay in the States, but there was something in his inflection that could give it away.
He caught sight of the healing cuts on Micah's arms and blanched. He was familiar with that, too. Oftentimes he'd cut himself in the early stages of his own problem, thinking that offering the monsters his blood would make them leave. The scars were almost all faded now, but there were a few pale, raised lines on his wrists that refused to disappear. He reached for his right wrist and ran his thumb over the scars surreptitiously. It was a reminder of his illness and delusion, and something he had resolved never to let happen to him again. Seeing the scars on Micah's arms fair broke his heart, and he barely knew the guy.
"So, uh...are you okay?" he asked, scrubbing the towel over his hair to get the worst of the moisture out. He then shucked off his sodden windbreaker and hung it up, wrapping the towel around his slightly damp clothes. The water had gone down the back of his neck. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
his little heart it beat so fast
THAT I AM ASHAMED TO BE RUNNING AWAY
FROM NOTHING REAL [/font][/center][/color] tagged » tabby/micah words » 346 lyrics » hounds of love - the futureheads music » an episode of the west wingnotes » none! |
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Post by micah on Apr 23, 2012 22:55:10 GMT -5
Micah wrapped him in a towel, looking him over. The poor boy looked as if he had been standing out there for a good while. Then, the boy walked, gathering up a blanket to also wrapped it around him. He smoothed out Soren’s hair softly, taking in his gorgeous eyes. The boy was younger and him, but definitely wasn’t too bad on the eyes. He was sweet, and he was a perfect friend when Micah needed him. When the college student was alone and scared and on begging for company, or the embrace of Draven, he was online and there to talk about it. Micah knew that’s what he needed right now. “D-Don’t w-w-orry about it. I s-should h-have gotten to the d-door faster,” he stammered, shaking. He wasn’t so used to talking to people. Gently, Micah moved out of the way for him to step into the house more. The quiet little space seemed cozy with the fire burning in the fireplace quietly and everything. He led him to the coach, sitting quietly.
Micah looked down as Soren asked him how he was. How could Micah answer that? There was no real way he could answer in a positive manner. He was sure that if he said the truth, that he was ready to cry every second of every day, he was going to be greeted with a “don’t feel that way” response. Micah just looked down at his hands and shrugged. His eyes watered a little thinking about how Draven would always make him “use his words” and express how he felt. Even if it meant going through the stuttering. Draven didn’t care. He’d let him stammer it out, sometimes he even caught on to what he was saying before he finished the sentence. All the same, Micah was thinking about it him again. Why did it always come to this? The boy began to weep again, plopping himself on to the couch.
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Post by Soren Émile Tamesis on Apr 23, 2012 23:32:29 GMT -5
i found a fox caught by dogsHE LET ME TAKE HIM IN MY HANDS- - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/size][/font][/center] Soren accepted the blanket being wrapped around him, but flinched slightly at the unexpected physical contact when Micah smoothed out his hair. He was not a fan of being touched unexpectedly - it made his monsters stir, and in his darker moments he could easily be convinced that there was something just outside of his peripheral vision that had finally worked out how to breach the barrier and make its way into the physical world and drag him off into a realm of nightmare. He mumbled an apology, his cheeks flushing bright red again. Yes, he was making a wonderful first impression. Absolutely bloody marvelous. He shucked off his shoes and continued into the house.
"I wasn't out there very long," Soren said, "really, it's fine." Soren didn't stammer like Micah did, but there was a marked hesitancy to his words, and he spoke softly, as though he didn't expect anyone to actually listen to him. At least there was a fire in the fireplace, for which Soren was grateful. It made the grey, rainy day seem less cold, and the ice began to leach out of his bones as he got closer to the fire.
Apparently, though, his question had been a poor one, because he watched Micah go through a three-point breakdown right before his eyes and collapse onto the couch. Soren sat down near him, a sympathetic look on his face. He'd never gone through a break-up before - hell, never even had a relationship before, who'd want a boyfriend who couldn't even be touched unexpectedly for fear it'd cause a relapse? - but the signs and symptoms of your own mind betraying you were all too plain and familiar to him.
"I'm...sorry," Soren said quietly, drawing his knees up close to him on the couch. Maybe this had been a bad idea. Maybe he should leave. "I didn't mean to, uh. Remind you of anything. I'm not too good at this, am I?" he asked ruefully. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
his little heart it beat so fast
THAT I AM ASHAMED TO BE RUNNING AWAY
FROM NOTHING REAL [/font][/center][/color] tagged » tabby/micah words » 331 lyrics » hounds of love - the futureheads music » gorecki - lamb notes » none |
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Post by micah on Apr 24, 2012 16:00:49 GMT -5
Micah quickly retracted his hand as the boy flinched. He didn’t mean to stir him up or anything. Micah was just trying to be nice, but once again, he had made a mistake. All he could think about what how stupid he was. Why would anyone want to be touched by him? He was a freak who couldn’t leave his house to get his own mail! Why would anyone want to put up with that? Micah had convinced himself that it was the reason Draven left him. He just couldn’t tolerate being around Micah and he couldn’t deal with Micah’s fears anymore. That’s why he was a “waste of his time”. Micah shook his head at Soren’s apology. “M-My f-fault,” he replied. Everything to him was his fault. He could do anything right for anyone.
Micah listened to Soren, who swore that he wasn’t out there long, but the agoraphobic didn’t believe that. Any time outside was a long time for him, so he felt sorry for subjecting the young boy to that. Once again, another reason why he didn’t have many people who liked him. The college student led the boy to the couch which was not four feet away from the fireplace. The smell of burning would made the house feel more like a campsite. It was the closest thing Micah got to outside, unless Elliot made him leave the house.
They boy wept at the memory of Draven. It’s all that was ever on his mind these days. He just wanted his touch, his love. All he wanted and more. But he was so far away. Micah grabbed on to his hair, crying at Soren’s apology. Great, now he had made his guest feel uncomfortable. “Oh g-g-od! N-no, n-no, n-no, please d-don’t b-be s-sorry! It’s my f-fault. All m-my fault.” It was obvious that Micah needed something or someone to calm him down, to just take the hurt away. He wanted to be held, to be taken care of.
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Post by Soren Émile Tamesis on Apr 24, 2012 22:57:56 GMT -5
i found a fox caught by dogsHE LET ME TAKE HIM IN MY HANDS- - - - - - - - - - - - - - [/size][/font][/center] This entire situation was imploding spectacularly.
Soren's aversion to being touched - nothing Micah could have known about, nothing anybody knew about because he'd never let anyone close enough to touch him - seemed to have set Micah spiraling into a breakdown. Soren had to contain the situation. "No, no, c'est pas--" He grimaced. His stress had caused him to blurt out the wrong language. Again. "C--it's not your fault, it's not, it's, uh...it's me, it's my own...thing," he finished lamely. But that was not going to do too much of anything to help. As usual. He liked helping people, really he did; it was why he was here today, of course. But he did not seem to be very good at it. Not this situation, and not today.
Micah was weeping now, and Soren was paralyzed with indecision. He had no idea what to do here, he had always been crap at comforting people. He took a deep breath or two, trying to calm his heart rate down; seeing people in hysterics could sometimes set off his own episodes, and there was darkness gathering at the corners of his vision. A glass serpent danced in the flames, all scales and feathers and spines flickering in the fireplace, striping in and out of shadow. It was pretty in a strange way, but still malicious, still frightening. Soren swallowed hard. He had enough to deal with here without his own monsters intruding on the situation.
Slowly, tentatively, he reached out to give Micah a hesitant little pat on the shoulder. Well done. As if that would help. Growing bolder, because Micah needed help, he reached across Micah's shoulders with one arm and gave him an awkward little side-hug. He'd always liked hugs, but he didn't feel comfortable actually hugging Micah yet.
The serpent twisted and turned in the fireplace, crystal fangs glistening as it snapped at nothing. - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
his little heart it beat so fast
THAT I AM ASHAMED TO BE RUNNING AWAY
FROM NOTHING REAL [/font][/center][/color] tagged » tabby/micah words » 322 lyrics » hounds of love - the futureheads music » the riddle again. HELP notes » these precious awkward babies. |
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