- - - what hurts the most , alan moore!

[Amy Jane Moore]

The whole day Amy had spend crying to herself over the loss of her dear uncle who had passed away eighteen days ago due to brain tumor. four years ago she had visited his sons marriages and from then on she kept visiting him whenever she had her chance. he was her only uncle hse had been too much attached and she was one of those few selective people he truly loved a lot. Majority of the people judged him to be rude and mean, whereas Amy had never seen a single thing that was bad about him. for her, he was always loving and caring. When amy was a little baby, she had gotten very high fever, says the tales that she had been hearing from the age of seven from her parents & grandparents and the doctor had given up on her, saying that all they could do was pray. everyne had given up on their hope except for her uncle & her mother who stayed the whole night awake next to amy, crying their hearts out & begging God for amy's life. their prayer had come true and so she survived. eversince then she had been the closest to her uncle and mother. She had even heard that her uncle wished to adopt amy from her parents when she was a little girl. it sounded too nice to hear, at least in that way she could have spended a very long time with him. when she grew up, her parents had to move to LA for their business and she didn't see her uncle until she turned twelve. it was then that she started to keep in contact with him and they both became very closer to each other. four years ago she had visited at his place to attend his sons marriage and spend a very joyous time there. she had danced with him, one thing she had never even done with her dad.. that very moment turned into a very sweet memory for her.


back in october, her uncle had fallen very ill. he had diabeties. according to the doctors he was losing his control over urine, and then later they would that he was starting to forget things and a week later he had fallen on to bed. he was a tall, stick like thin man and diabeties was doing worse to him. eventually he had lost control over everything and stopped talking. This was when everyone realized this was a serious deal and took him for MRI and in reports found out that he had brain tumor. it was terrible. Doctors had predicted that he had only three months left and the tumor was in it's last stage. only the elders knew about this, amy was unaware of this. her mother told her anything because she didn't wanted to get amy mentally disturbed. Her mother knew Amy was already having a lot to deal with, which was Alan and her studies. At that time she was engaged to him and a month later she was about to get married to him. Everyone kept it hidden from her, and whenever she called to ask how was he, they gave her fake hopes and wrong stories that he was recovering and doing well every day. month later she got married, nobody from her uncle's family could attend. before leaving for Seattle with Alan, she had met her uncle one last time when he had recognized her and held onto her hands for continously two hours and she sat next to him, holding her tears back after seeing his condition and pretending to be smiling. The last time she was him alive was the next morning when he was taken to the hospital as he walked with his sons to the car and before leaving patted on her head, saying last goodbye. After that whenever she called, she was told of the fake stories, and only twice out of her every day calls, she was made to talk with him in the phone where he used to greet and say 'i'm fine'. this way two months passed away. Amy & Alan had gone on their honeymoon and even returned back after celebrating her birthday and so many other things had happened for the first time ever. it's like for the first time, they felt like real husband and wife in it's real means. they returned back by the end of december and then two of them stayed busy shooting their movies. just a week before her uncle passed away, she got busy her exams and had forgotten to make calls to ask how his uncle was doing. on the 20th of march, his uncle passed away, and she wasn't told about this until evening when she reached near his place. she was informed by her cousin sister that his uncle passed away and she walked into his, thinking it was a freaking bad joke. As she got there, there were several women sitted in every corner of the house, some crying, some talking. Her aunt approached her and hugged her and started to say things to her that she could still remember but never responded. She stood still and all her aunts and uncles hugged her. Then she was dragged into the room where her dead body lay. He was laying ice cold, in deep sleep but looked peaceful. She fell down onto her knees and sat still, her body trembling and for continously two days she had gone into shock. She had remained the whole next to her uncle's dead body, asking him question as if he would respond. according to one of the doctor, amy had gone into a shock and was badly affected by his uncle's death. it was exactly two days later when she cried when her mother reached there from austrailia. Alan had come over to take care of Amy who would talk or eat. Just tremble and sometimes cry. it was awful and for nearly a week Amy wasn't out of the shock. In her sleep, she'd scream, luckily Alan held her closer to calm her down, otherwise she was a mess.

Eventually with the passage of the time she got back into her senses and got herself busy to get over the loss of her dear Uncle. but this week when she had no work and was alone at her home, she was haunted by sweet memories and that dreading day her uncle was lying like a dead body in front of her eyes. alan had been in his little library reading books, as she spend her time in her room, locked up, pretending that she was studying while she kept crying and her eyes were swollen. Alan had finally knocked on the door and she ran to the bathroom, washed her face and pulled on a happy look on her face, pretending she was alright. she had smoked earlier a couple of cigerattes that lay on ashes on the floor and had forgotten to pick them up. hey love, are you all done with your reading? it was 7pm, he had gone in there around 1pm or something and got back just now. he was such a NERD. she leaned closer, putting her arms around him and pulling him closer, giving him a soft kiss on his kissable lips. ' I've missed doing this a lot since morning.. '' she said, trying to distract him from noting anything that will make him thing that she was crying earlier. Before kissing him once more, she turned around and pointed at her books. So you're going to teach me maths right now, am I right or are we going to do something else? Physics? Or are you hungry? I can go get cook some dinner quickly. '' she said. She was trying to hard to hold back her tears and smile like life was perfect.

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[Alan Anthony Moore]

Seeing Amy so upset Alan wasn’t even sure what to do, he wanted to do something but he wasn’t all that sure what it was like to lose someone since he never had anyone he was close to in his family pass away. He wasn’t all that close to anyone in his family either, other than his cousin and he never really got to ever see her. It was sorta depressing, being so far away from most of his family but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Most of his family was in England while he was here in America, he did still visit when he had the chance but it seemed like those chances were actually limited. As he only got busier his life only seemed a little more hectic, but that was the life of a famous actor. Yes, Alan was famous and in a few movies so people tended to know who he was and in some cases that alone was actually a little annoying. It never really let him have a normal life which is just what he really always hoped for but never really seemed able to have because of everything that was always going on in his life, he was Alan Moore and that was that.

While Amy was upset Alan took it into his self to lock himself in his library and just read, it was easier for him to try and avoid her then to make matters worse. When she needed him he was of course around, but when she didn’t need him or he was just making matters worse he just decided to go off and step aside. Seeing his love so upset didn’t make him feel to good either, so that was another reason why he just gave her space. I was easier that way and he didn’t have to keep worrying about her, because he did always tend to worry about her. It was around 1 when he left for his library and began reading, hours later he read about three new books and was ready to go back to the room. Walking back he knocked on the door waiting for her to answer frowning when she saw that she had clearly been crying again. “You know I hate when you cry love” he said quietly, “but yes I did finish my reading” he said returning her kisses before walking over and sitting down looking at her books as well.

“Hmm we can start on your maths after we eat” he suggested thinking, he was determined to help his wife improve her grades.

(It's so short compared to yours)

[Amy Jane Moore]

Amy spend her day going through videos and photographs taken at the family parties & ceremonies in which her Uncle was involved and remembered each and every word that he used to tell. it was his efforts that today amy could drive. her parents were too busy to spend some quality time with her and teach her how to drive so therefore, whenever she went to visit her Uncle, she would ask him to teach her her how to drive and so he did. Once Amy had even drived a truck which was from her uncle's work. it was a fun day.. remembering those sweet moments made her eyes watery and she had bursted into tears and louder sobs throughout the day thinking about him. one quality of alan that amy whole heartedly admired was his ability of understanding. he understood her conditon and allowed her to have her space and be all alone until she wanted. by now, he was well aware of what amy was like, until and unless she had let out everything off her heart by crying, she wouldn't rest and amy liked to take all the burden off her heart in a calm, peaceful place, in solitude. amy had never thought that alan was a selfish husband who didn't bother about her and wanted to spend time doing all what he wanted. infact, he was the most caring husband ever. she greeted him with a few kisses and smiled, pretending like she wasn't sad at all but he had it figured out. He was a clever man..

She shook her head, not able to face him after he pointed out that he hates it when she cries. He had walked into the room and she shut the door behind, locking it up. She asked her if he wanted to teach her first of have dinner and he said he wanted to have dinner first. she wanted to cook something for him but felt lazy so she picked up her cell phone and dailed the pizza hut's number. '' Know what? I'm ordering us pizza. what favour do you want it to be?'' she asked. once she was done calling, she turned to him and sat onto the bed. you know what? study can wait.'' she said, she was not at all in the mood of studying. resting her head onto his shoulder,she sighed heavily. '' Alan... he's gone. My Uncle left me. He's gone forever. she said and bursted loudly into sob. tears ran down her eyes. '' If only I knew he was that ill, I would spend all my time with him but nobody told me. I hate this. I hate myself and my fucking life Alan... ''all of a sudden she had gotten very emotional and needed a shoulder to cry her heart out

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[Alan Anthony Moore]

Alan tried his best to be a good husband, because he wasn’t really one to disappoint. It was about the last thing that he would ever want to do, he didn’t like when people were upset period. When someone was upset he found it his job to go and try to cheer them up, it was just the way he was. The fact that Amy was upset didn’t make him too happy, and he really wished he could do something about it but he knew that there was no use and he almost felt defeated. He really didn’t want her just suffering, and being unhappy but he knew that she was unhappy because of everything that happened. That was why he tried to give her space so she could just be alone and when she wanted him he came to her, he wasn’t being selfish and it wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with her it was because he knew when he wasn’t needed. He just let her calm down before even trying to talk to her again, so that was just what he did when he went off to his library and just read for a few hours. He was a nerd, he knew he was and was never afraid to admit it.

Coming back to the room he received kisses from his wife smiling ever slightly, he loved her so much and it was almost hard to even tell that they were even arranged now. “Hmm just plain or pepperoni is fine” he shrugged his shoulders sitting there when she sat beside him close when she started crying again. “I know, I know but there’s nothing you can do love. It was just his time to go, he was needed elsewhere and you shouldn’t go saying you hate your life either missy” Alan frowned kissing the top of her head. He hated seeing her like this, “he wouldn’t have wanted you upset” he added.